Friday, August 01, 2008

Is this the end on an era?

I don't want to say that the Boolog is coming to an end but I do want to say that I probably won't be posting much anymore. I've started a second blog (http://boorayphotography.blogspot.com/) for my photography business and i don't have much time to post in both so...

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Memories

Some events in life are important. Some things stay with you your entire life. Memory is funny because, although I remember all the important events in my life, some stick out more than others.
I remember the first time I saw a girl naked.
I remember the moment when I asked my first wife if she had slept with another man.
I remember the moment when I realized that my boss was having me come over to his house because he was going to offer me the morning show.
I remember the moment when my new boss told me he was taking me off the morning show.
I remember the first time I told Bobbi that I loved her.
I remember the moment when I had to tell Bobbi that our new baby was on her way to intensive care.

And I remember Friday, June 30th, 2008.... the day I changed my last diaper.

Friday, June 27, 2008

The hippy-dippy weatherman

Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Bill Cosby.

Now, only Cosby is left.

I guess that deep down inside I secretly consider myself a comedian. Although I am by no means anywhere near the level of a comedian who actually works for a living, I was in a comedy troupe that had its own venue and I was a morning disc jockey for a while. I guess that makes me a borderline comedian, a comedian wannabe.

Still, even if I had just been an insurance salesman my entire life there can be no denying that my personality has been heavily influenced by comedians. I didn't really get into Richard Pryor until my teenage years but as a youngster I was exposed to Bill Cosby and George Carlin. There can be no doubt that Bill Cosby was my favorite but George Carlin certainly made an impact. When I was about 11 years old I took the bus to the library and was amazed to discover that you could actually check out record albums. I checked out a George Carlin album based solely on the picture on the cover. I was amazed to discover that the guy on the album actually used cuss words and it was funny. The one routine I still remember from the album was about the word, "shit." I just remember him saying:

Some people will say "shoot" instead of "shit." Like, when they drop a casserole in the kitchen..."Ahhh shoot!" You're not fooling me: "shoot" is "shit" with two o's.

It wasn't until years later that I discovered the "seven dirty words you can't say on television" routine. Naturally, I memorized the seven words to the point that even today I can rattle them off from memory at high speed. When I was in college we actually studied the Supreme Court case surrounding the seven dirty words, which I thought was really cool. I mean, here's this guy that I used to listen to in my bedroom when I was twelve and now he's in my textbook in college.

I wasn't a big fan of Carlin's as the years went on. I felt that his stand-up evolved into two distinct directions: either he was pissed off and railing against something which wasn't always funny, or he was making fun of language, which is interesting, but again not always funny. The one thing that I did love about Carlin was that he was totally fearless when it came to speaking his mind and his opinion, especially about religion.

It's really sad to see him go. He's been around for so long that you just got used to George Carlin always being here. I'll miss him.


If you're not really familiar with much of George Carlin's material I would suggest looking online for his routine called, "a place for your stuff." Personally, I think that it is probably his best routine because it does such a good job of capturing a phenomenon that everyone is familiar with but no one paid attention to it until he brought it up.

My second joke on "Last Comic Standing"

I saw a commercial today for depression medication.
Side effects may include dizzimess, nausea, and constipation.
I'm not so sure the cure is worth the trouble. I may be depressed but at least I can shit.
What's the upside? "Well, I spent the day bent over on the toilet throwing-up into the bathtub but I feel great!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

It just needed some candles

We're in the middle of potty-training with Mac and so, as a form of rebellion I suppose, she decided to go two whole days without pooping.

Today she finally let it out, right in her training panties.

In all my years as a stay-at-home Dad, I have never seen a display of poop smearage to equal what I just witnessed. It didn't even look like poop anymore. It looked like someone had frosted her ass.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

My opening bit on "Last Comic Standing:"

My wife and I have been married for seven years and we have a great relationship. I mean, we have sex all the time. Except when she's on her period. And, I gotta tell ya, I've gained a whole new respect for what you women have to go through with your period. I mean, seriously, 25... sometimes 30 days a month....

I don't know how you poor girls function....

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Sometimes we just sit on the couch and whispers sweet-nothings...

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked.
"I smell something," I said.
"Don't even...."
"Did you just fart?"
"No, I didn't just fart."
"Well, I smell something."
"It's not me and I resent the implication."
"What implication?"
"The implication that I would just sit here and fart and not say anything."
"You fart all the time. It's practically your trademark."
"I don't fart without you knowing about it."
"Really?"
"Yes, really."
"You never sneak one out and hope it goes unoticed?"
"No."
"Yes you do."
"No I don't. When have I ever just farted without saying something?"
"How would I know? The whole point is for me not to know."
"Listen, I resent this idea you have that I'm just walking around farting all the time and not telling you. I don't do that, I don't just fart everywhere, I don't Dutch Oven..."
"Whoa, whoa! Dutch Oven? You can't compare the two. That's like comparing a stink bomb to napalm. Just because you never did one doesn't mean you don't do the other."
"You know me. I can't keep a straight face when I fart."
"I know you can't keep a straight face when you get caught farting. Not the same thing."
"I resent this entire conversation."
"I'm just saying there is no way that you are going to convince me that you don't fart sometimes without saying something."
"I don't."
"Really."
"Yes, really."
"Then you're the only one on the planet."
"I'm special."

 

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