Sunday, June 19, 2005

Things I daydream about while driving:

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a time machine and bring Benjamin Franklin to the current day. He'd be all, "Wow, look at these cars!," and I'd be all, "Dude, check out this microwave," and he'd be all, "You know, I invented a stove myself once," and I'd be all, "I know."

Sometimes I like to imagine that I'm on The Late Show with David Letterman and the first question is, "So, where did the name "Booray" come from?" I would tell the story, which isn't funny or particularly interesting, and Dave would never ask me back.

I still have imaginary conversations with my ex-wife where I'm trying to explain to her how it's impossible to love someone and cheat on them at the same time. I actually had this conversation with her several times in real life but she never seemed to get it. Nor did she ever really wrap her head around the concept of just how evil it is to have an affair when you're married. What's sad is that I still have that conversation in my head six years later, proving just how traumatizing something like that can be. Sometimes I'll be driving for quite a while and suddenly realize that I have been playing it all out in my head again, immediately get annoyed that I still think about it and quickly switch to daydreaming about sex with my wife and her sister (who isn't actually related by blood so it's cool).

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