Me: Well, in that case you're "shittin' in hign cotton."
Her: What?
Me: "You're shittin' in high cotton."
Her: What does that mean?
Me: You've never heard that expression?
Her: No.
Me: It means things are great.
Her: How does it mean that?
Me: Well, if you had to shit outdoors, high cotton would be the best place.
Her: (Deadpan look)
Me: I mean, think about it. It's high, so no one would be able to see you and you're surrounded by cotton, which you can use when you're done.
Her: (Continued deadpan look)
Me: Well, it sure beats shittin in corn or wheat, that's all I'm saying.