Friday, August 19, 2005

"This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need! My name in print! That really makes somebody! Things are going to start happening to me now!"

Today I was looking through my "unique visitor" links, depressed to discover that (as usual) most of the visitors to my site are "bots" trolling for my email address so they can sell me penile enlargement pills or sign me up for an online casino (Idea: combine the two into a site that takes bets on my penis size! But I digress... ).

I'm scanning down the list when I come across a domain I don't recognize.

Who is this, I wonder?

I load up the address in my browser and get a blog. It's a good blog. It's a funny blog. It's even attractively designed. And there, on the right-hand side is a link to The Boolog.

I immediately start scanning her links for other links that I recognize, figuring that she got my link because she is friends with someone I know..... but no.... I don't see a single link I recognize. It's while I'm scanning down the page with my mouse that I get a little hover pop-up on "The Boolog" link. Do you want to know what it says? Do you really? Ask nicely... c'mon... beg for it...... you know you want it......

It says: "LMAO!! this guy is a riot!"

Woo-Hoo!! Someone I don't know thinks I'm funny!! That's right losers... I'm a fucking riot! The rest of you dogs can just suck it! Bow before the comic genius that is Booray!

After a brief victory dance around the kitchen, panic set in. I haven't really been that funny lately. What if she no longer thinks I'm a riot? What if I'm a chuckle or a giggle? How can I work a dick joke into this post to get a laugh? Now the pressure is really on. I'm not sure I can live under this sort of harsh media glare!!

Okay, seriously. I don't know how blackberriesgirl found me but the fact that she linked to me and didn't even bother to email me and ask for a link back is great. Really, if we were dating, tonight it would be all about you, blackberriesgirl. I wouldn't even make you touch the warm banana. (read her blog) But, since I'm married, I want you to know that tonight, when the baby's asleep and the lights are low, I'll be thinking of you when my wife refuses to have sex with me.

I should also point out that blackberriesgirl is not the first person to link to me, just the first one who hasn't made me seek a restraining order. However, hope springs eternal..

As soon as this is posted I'll be adding a link to my side panel but I won't be emailing this obviously gifted and discriminating reader. Instead, I'm just gonna post this up and wait because, deep in my heart, I'm sure she stopped reading me weeks ago.


Blackberriesgirl said...

LOL! I haven't stopped reading weeks ago! I've been on holidays or having visitors over as I panic because I've suddenly realized that school starts soon and I need to play as hard as I can.

Even while I traveled, I checked out your site to show my friend Leslie and she also thinks you're entertaining! Giddy up! You have Canadian fans eh!

WOW!!! Well, spank me silly and call me Matilda! I'm shocked! I'm honored and I feel so extra special cuz you wrote a blurb and linked me! You kick ass!


p.s. You'll always be a riot in my books! I think you're hilarious, but you don't always have to be funny... I'll like you even when you have IMS (Irritable Male Syndrome)

2:33 AM  

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