Thursday, September 22, 2005

Be afraid, be very afraid...


When we first told everyone that we were going to have a baby, everyone had advice and comments (Most valuable: Sleep when the baby sleeps. Most Frequent: You'll never get to take a shit alone again!). I listened to everybody and read all the books but I'm a little pissed off that no one bothered to tell me about the fear.

It's amazing how little I worry about raising my children. I did that for the first year, mapping out all the big talks (No girl ever looks back and thinks, "I wish I'd had sex sooner"..... There's never been a drug that doesn't hurt you in some way, including alcohol..... Never eat at a restaurant that has a "sharing charge," on principal). Now, all I think about is, "What if something happens to her?"

Having spent my whole life tirelessly dedicated to the most important person in the world (me), I'm now suddenly faced with loving two people more than myself. With Bobbi it's not so bad because at least I can count on her not to stick a paper clip into the wall socket but Samantha.... that's a good time! Looking at my daughter I can't help but think, "How can I go through the rest of my life like this? Will it ever end?" (Hint: NO)

So now I go to sleep each night thinking about cancer, auto-accidents and threesomes with my wife and her sister (some things never change). In December we''ll have another child. I'm thinking of just wrapping that one in bubble-wrap until she turns 30.

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