Saturday, September 17, 2005

Watching Football

I watch more football now than I used to because I finally joined a fantasy football league. Fantasy football has provided millions of men with a good reason to watch more football, which is a little like saying porn gives us a good reason to masturbate. I mean, really, DO WE NEED A GOOD REASON!?

One thing that I have found when it comes to football is that there are people like me, who appreciate the game, and are mostly there for the beer, and there are the other people.... the fans. You know the type, the ones who act as if their team is Jesus and all the other teams are Romans? No matter what happens, their team can do no wrong:

"Dude, he ripped off the guy's arm."
"He was going for the ball!"
"Going for the ball? He ripped off the guy's arm. Literally. The guy is walking around with no arm."
"Look, the team mascot is picking it up."

The other thing that I find annoying about fans is their choice of allegiance. I live in Tampa, I'm a Bucs fan. That makes sense, right? My niece Alicia is a big fan of Florida State ........or maybe it's the University of Florida...... I don't remember, which is okay because SHE HAS NEVER GONE TO COLLEGE OR LIVED IN GAINESVILLE OR TALAHASSEE! It's just annoying.

Oh, here's something else I discovered. If you want to annoy a University of Miami fan, ask him why the Hurricanes have a duck for a mascot. (It's not a duck, it's an Ibis and his name is Sebastion)


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