Saturday, October 15, 2005

Always Be Prepared

Yesterday I was sitting at the drive-thru bank teller and I decided to open a package. I had caught the mailman just as I was leaving and had a big box sitting on the seat next to me. I soon realized that I didn't have a knife to open the box with. It seems to me that I should have a knife in the car. You never know when you are going to need a knife. What if you were trapped in an accident and had to cut off your own leg to escape? What if you wanted to kill a hobo? Boy, you'd sure be sorry you didn't pack a knife in the glovebox then.

Despite lacking a knife in the car I do have two other possible car emergency's covered. If I'm ever trapped underwater in the car I can break the window with the handy window breaking tool that is in the center console. It also has a special blade for cutting the seatbelt (but not usable for opening a package or stabbing Paris Hilton). So I'm safe from water-born disaster.

The other emergency I have in the bag is the "trapped in the snow on a deserted road" disaster. Not exactly the sort of thing that happens all the time here in Florida but I'm prepared nonetheless. Although I lack any blankets for warmth, I'm convinced that I could live for days on the food that is in the bottom of Samantha's car seat. Seriously, I've seen breakfast buffets at "Shoney's" with less protein. The sugar rush off the Fruit Loops and Teddy Grahams might even be enough to enable me to hike out to safety.


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