"When you're checking for a pulse on an infant, you don't check at the neck, you check on the arm."
"Why is that?"
"Because they have no neck."
"That's true. We bought my daughter a necklace and she had to wear it around her forehead."

"You're sure answering these test questions fast.... you're making me nervous."
"Remember all the geeky guys in High School that you would never even consider going out with?"
"Yea..."
"I was the President of those guys."