Friday, March 31, 2006

Are you ready for some football?


There's a good chance that I may soon be the owner of my very own season ticket for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Several years ago I had a chance to get a ticket and took a pass. Sam was about to be born and I didn't think it would be fair for me to go off to the stadium every Sunday and leave Bobbi to have to deal with the baby all alone. Since then, I've learned three things: First, you should never turn down a ticket that has a waiting list with 20,000 names on it, no matter what it's for. Second, the Bucs don't play at home every Sunday and third, once you actually have children, you'll buy season tickets to lesbian softball if it means getting away from the House of Elmo for one freakin' second. Suck it, bitch.... it's gametime!

(Sidenote: Mackenzie is now in the 95% bracket for weight, height, etc. Sam was 85%. I'm breeding my very own lesbian softball team. Why are lesbian softball players so big? Discuss... )

The seat I will be getting is in a group with my buddy Nelson and his friends. Here's a group of guys who somehow managed to score the best seats in the stadium: Right next to the beer and the bathrooms. Being next to the bathroom is great but not for the reason you think. There is nothing like spending halftime standing outside the women's restroom in 95 degree heat in Florida. It's wall-to-wall hot chicks in belly shirts. Last time I went to a game half the guys spent the whole day with their back to the field.

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