Friday, June 09, 2006

My office has a view...


In every workplace there is one job that no one wants to do. Maybe it's making copies or going to get lunch for everyone.... well, in the penal system, that job has got to be "cavity search."

Do you think the guy who does the cavity search had that in mind when he choose a career in corrections? Does anyone ever pick that? "Let's see Johnson, you can stand guard in the tower, escort the prisoners to the cafeteria or spend the afternoon looking up people's asses. What's that? Number 3? Okay..."

That's how they sneak drugs into prison. I knew a guy who did drugs while in prison who claimed he was a recreational user. Dude, if you are willing to suck something into your nose that just came out of someone's ass........ YOUR ADDICTED. In fact, that should be the very definition of "addicted." ".... so, have you done drugs at work? Yes? have you ever neglected your family to do drugs? Yes? Would you do drugs that came out of someone's ass? No?? Don't worry, you're fine..."

It's not just drugs they look for, it's weapons. Your first thought might be: You can't hide a very big weapon up your ass. But then, it wouldn't have to be a big weapon. It wouldn't even have to be a very effective weapon. Because he doesn't have to threaten to hurt you with it, he just has to threaten to touch you with it. "Dude, what are you doing back there... hey, whoa...DAMN! What is that... a ballpoint pen? A popsicle stick? .....WHOA! No, here... take the money.... buy some wetnaps..."

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