Tuesday, July 25, 2006

It's all about the xxxx

Last weekend, Bobbi and I were sitting around, having a few cocktails and talking about sex. We try to keep an open dialogue running about our sex life because we have a really good one and we don't want to take it for granted. We feel it's important to discuss it frequently to make sure everything is okay. Also, I really like to talk about sex.

We were about two cocktails into the discussion when Bobbi said,"You know what I would really like? I would like it if you would take your xxxx and put in on my xxxx while xxxx my xxxx at the same time. Then xxxx"
"Really?" I asked.
"Yea, that will make me xxxx every time."

My next question was a logical one: "We've been married for five years, why haven't you told me this before!"

I have discovered over the years that women, for some reason, don't think it's important to tell you what they enjoy. We're just supposed to figure out on our own. It baffles me because, if we don't figure it out, it's the woman who suffers! Five years she waited to tell me about a little simple trick that will guarantee a happy ending everytime. That's the sort of information I'm likely to impart on the first date: "So, I grew up in Lousiana and I like it when a girl sticks a coffee mug up my ass. Did you see the latest X-men movie?"

Note: Don't even try to decipher the "xxxx" code. What she said wasn't even close to that sentence. I'm trying to respect my wife's dignity, even if she does like it when I xxxx her xxxx.

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