Bobbi will be coming home in about an hour to pick up Mac, who is scheduled to have her picture taken today. Sam should go down for a nap before Bobbi returns with Mac which means I will get maybe 30 minutes completely to myself. I'm really looking forward to this mini-vacation and intend to make the best possible use of my time alone.

I'm going to take a shit.

Taking a shit is the sort of thing you really take for granted until you have kids. Suddenly, what used to be a daily respite from the cares of the world has become a race against time before the kids wake up. Or worse... a shared experience where you must play patty-cake with your daughter while squeezing one out. It's a regular Mardi-Gras, let me tell you.

Now, I look forward to an unhurried, uninterrupted shit the way I used to look forward to sex (unlike sex, I still take a shit once a day).

This is my life.