Am I the only person who has ever gone into Waldenbooks and bought two autobiographies: Bob Newhart and Ron Jeremy?

Friday night on the way to dinner, Bobbi and I saw a man on the side of the road with a sign that read: Valentine's Day Turtles. I'm not sure which is funnier: the thought that there is someone out there who would buy a turtle for a woman on Valentine's day or the fact that the man selling the turtles thinks he will sell more of them if he bills them as Valentine's Day Turtles.

When you go out to eat and you have a small baby in a high chair you don't get to use the entire table in front of you. About one third of the table, the section in front of the baby, has to be completely free of anything that the baby might grab and stick in their mouth. It's like a little baby demilitarized zone. The 38th parallel of restaurant dining. The "No Fly Zone" of eating out.