Monday, March 19, 2007

Also, I'm great in bed

There are many differences between Bobbi and me. As I have chronicled many, many times on this blog one of the main differences is Bobbi's inability to finish anything that she starts. If she drinks some wine, the bottle will be on the counter. If she puts the bottle in the trash, the full trash can will not be taken out. If she kills a homeless person, she will always forget to hide the body. It's a character flaw.

However, there is one area in which I have a character flaw that she does not (yes, I know, hard to imagine...). I take some small solace in the fact that most people possess this same flaw to some degree. Bobbi, however, does not possess it at all.

The flaw? Measuring your own self worth by societies standards (or someone else's).

Let me give you an example. If you meet me, and you ask me anything about myself... or even if you don't ask me about myself at all... within a few minutes I will probably tell you that I used to be a disc jockey and I had a national show on a bunch of different radio stations (also, I have incredible fashion sense and won the Nobel prize in economics in 1997). This is because I want you to know that I used to be somebody, when in fact, I wasn't really anyone at all. My own self-worth, my own self esteem, is somehow tied into the fact that I feel the need to impress people in order to make myself feel good about myself. I was never good at anything in my life, not really good, and having been a disc jockey is the only thing that sets me apart. So, I cling to it. It's pathetic and a little sad and most people do it in one way or another. Sometimes it's their job, or their athletic prowess, or how much money they make... but most people have got it just a little bit.

Except for Bobbi.

Bobbi is more successful than anyone I know and yet you will never hear her say it. I'm not just saying that she won't drop it into casual conversation (she won't), I'm saying that even when the moment screams out for her to say something about it she won't. She's so magnanimous about it that it makes me want to puke. Just gloat little for God's sake! (Understand that when I say "successful" I'm not necessarily talking about money.) I mean come on, if you were Michael Jordan and somebody started talking about what a great basketball player they were, at some point wouldn't you want to just take them down a notch. Just a little notch? It frustrates the crap out of me because it sets an example that cannot be ignored, forcing me to aspire to it on an almost daily basis.

Will the day ever come when I can meet a stranger and in discussing what I do say simply, "I own a title company,"... leaving the stranger to decide if it's a small company or a large one and not caring if they believe that I have worked in the insurance industry my entire life?

62. I was on a 62 stations.


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