Monday, January 21, 2008

How to drive traffic to my site: start with a post that contains the phrase, "Kaley Cuoco's tits."

Sitting on the couch tonight, Bobbi said, "I was reading some of the old BooLog posts. You used to be a lot funnier." Now, this may not seem like a big deal, but to a guy who has spent his whole life secure in the belief that the only thing he has going for him is his ability to be funny, you might as well say, "Thank God your dick isn't as big as my last boyfriend. I much prefer the economy size." ( A midget goes into a brothel and pulls down his pants. The madam says, "Who do you expect to please with that little thing?" and the midget replies, "Me!")

While it's true that I am not churning out the Pulitzer Prize quality humor I used to, let's please remember that The Boo-Log wasn't created to be a comedy writing showcase. It was created so that my children, who I had late in life, will be able to get a sense of who I was as a young man. I'll be long gone before my kids reach the point where they can really understand me as I am today. I want them to be able to know me and hopefully The Boo-log will do that. They need to know that I bitch about politics and religion and why... that I think Kaley Cuoco on The Big Bang Theory is still hot since growing up (although her face is kinda screwy, but the body, Lord! The show should be called The Big bang with Kaley Cuoco's Tits.)... that I played "The Grinch" in High School and I've never done cocaine despite spending years surrounded by drug culture.
See, nothing funny in that last post yet still a joy to read.
I can't think of a way to describe this that will be near as funny as when it happened but the other night Sam fell down and Bobbi and I just about cried we were laughing so hard. It was no big deal but she was behind the couch talking to us and we could only see her head. Right in the middle of the conversation she just fell. Kids do that a lot because they are constantly lifting their legs in the air for no reason. Mac likes to lift her leg above the table at dinner and she is so young and limber that it looks like a Muppet leg just popped up. She doesn't even seem to notice when it happens. She's just sitting there eating and suddenly, PoP! This little leg shoots straight up beside her head.

Anyway, Sam just disappeared when she fell and then she chimed out, "I'm okay!" But it wasn't just an, "I'm okay" like you say when your, well, "okay". It was like a perfectly timed, comedian-makes-a-pratfall and says, 'I'm okay!"

Like I said, hard to describe but hilarious anyway.


Blogger Mark said...

I don't care whether you are funny or not. So long as you keep posting tasteful pictures of boobies.

7:50 PM  

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