Monday, March 31, 2008

A quiet afternoon on the links

In the movie The Green Mile there is a character named "Wild Bill." He's the crazy son of a bitch on death row. Just over-the-top crazy and loud. Yesterday I played golf with that guy. Not Sam rockwell, the actor.... Wild Bill, the guy.

From the very first hole it was, "Hey buddy, how you doing? We're gonna drink some beers and play some golf!" When he asked what I do for a living i told him that I was retired and my wife supported me. "You are living the dream!" he screamed. He was fun to play with because he got excited about every drive and every putt that everyone made.

About the 6th hole I was standing on the tee box and I noticed that he was in his cart with his back turned to me doing something on his lap. "He's rolling a joint," I thought. (It's been a long time since I saw someone roll a joint but I still no what a person who is trying to do it without being niticed looks like.) Sure enough, not long after we had all hit our drives he told me, "I'm going to go over there and hit my ball and we're gonna bust this joint. You want some?"

I declined.

On this particular golf course when you get to the 9th hole you can call the snack bar and order some food so that it'll be waiting for you as you make the turn. We were sitting in the middle of the fairway waiting for the group in front of us to clear the green when he decided to call in and order something. For some reason, he put his phone on speaker and set it on the seat next to him.
"Snack bar, this is Dave."
"Hey Dave, we're on the 9th fairway and we need to order some food."
"Go ahead."
"Okay, I need a grilled cheese sandwich and a chili cheese dog. Also, give me one of those chicken sandwiches and Dave?"
"Yes."
"How's your steak sandwich?"
"It's good."
"Okay, give me one of those too."
Then, he turned to his partner and myself and asked, "You guys want anything?"

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