Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Sometimes we just sit on the couch and whispers sweet-nothings...

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asked.
"I smell something," I said.
"Don't even...."
"Did you just fart?"
"No, I didn't just fart."
"Well, I smell something."
"It's not me and I resent the implication."
"What implication?"
"The implication that I would just sit here and fart and not say anything."
"You fart all the time. It's practically your trademark."
"I don't fart without you knowing about it."
"Yes, really."
"You never sneak one out and hope it goes unoticed?"
"Yes you do."
"No I don't. When have I ever just farted without saying something?"
"How would I know? The whole point is for me not to know."
"Listen, I resent this idea you have that I'm just walking around farting all the time and not telling you. I don't do that, I don't just fart everywhere, I don't Dutch Oven..."
"Whoa, whoa! Dutch Oven? You can't compare the two. That's like comparing a stink bomb to napalm. Just because you never did one doesn't mean you don't do the other."
"You know me. I can't keep a straight face when I fart."
"I know you can't keep a straight face when you get caught farting. Not the same thing."
"I resent this entire conversation."
"I'm just saying there is no way that you are going to convince me that you don't fart sometimes without saying something."
"I don't."
"Yes, really."
"Then you're the only one on the planet."
"I'm special."


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